Don't spit like a girl

Road riding, like most things I suppose, has a certain etiquette associated with it.  There are some things that are acceptable, and some things that, no matter what group you’re riding with, will probably be considered non-preferred.  Of course two of the most important are: no snot rockets at the front of the line, and don’t spit like a girl. 

On long rides, and especially early in the morning, it’s not uncommon for one’s nose to sooner or later start dripping like a faucet.  Thankfully, cycling gloves are usually made with a terry cloth section around the thumb that works real well for wiping sweat or whatever else might need to be wiped from time to time.  But every now and then the only thing that really works is holding a finger on one nostril and blowing a good shot out of the other.  The only thing is… please wait till you’re at the back of the line for this.  As helpful as this procedure is for the shooter, it’s usually that annoying for the next two or three people in the line. 

Now sometimes it’s not so much that your nose gets too wet, it’s that your mouth gets too dry.  And what is it about this that so often makes people want to spit?  I’ve ridden entire century rides without ever having an irresistible urge to spit.  But apparently this is one thing that hits different people differently because I’ve also been on rides where sooner or later somebody feels a need to spit in very dramatic fashion.  Ok, fine.  Go ahead and spit.  Just don’t spit like a girl.  You know—make it a good clean shot out to the side.  None of that spraying stuff that ends up going as far back as it does out.  Yuck. 

In fact, that’s another thing that is probably better left until you’re in the back of the line.  And actually, that’s one of the good things about being in back.  You can kind of do your own thing when you’re in the back.  Eat, drink, look around, adjust things…  Yeah, sometimes that’s the best place to be.